Today, I put my head down. I acknowledge the fear, the pain, the confusion inside this chaos and this grief. Today, I put my head down. I surrender to so many things I will never understand. Tomorrow I will open my eyes and say “thank you” for all of the love and all of the songs that remain, even now. But today, Boston, I put my head down.
I’ve spent the last two weeks looking for a new space for my vocal studio. It’s occupied my thoughts, my dreams, and my conversations. I signed the lease yesterday and would love to take some deep breaths, celebrate, relax: I did it! It’s perfect! I love it!
But we move very soon and now there is so much to do.
Figure out the stages of the move (borrow truck?)
Paint and clean (sub list for this includes supplies, checking out paint colors, prepping walls – ooh, I need sand paper)…
Get signs made
Buy additional supplies, furniture (and move those in)
Announce date of reopening
Schedule open house?
Ask about new A/C
Design the space – set up, electronics, desks
Have you ever noticed how much time it takes to think about things? When I have something to figure out I feel like I don’t have a second to spare. Days go by, texts start to go unanswered. Friends wonder where the heck I’ve been. I’m so unaware of what’s happening in my down time that I’m not sure how many minutes or hours I spend staring into space or doing the dishes or walking the neighborhood or researching the topic at hand. I’m decidedly not present. I’m not here now.
Today I am setting my intention to spend the next two weeks absorbing each moment, whether it’s little or stressful or hilarious (or all of the above)!
I am beyond grateful for the chance to share this adventure with you.
You, who will show up in so many beautiful ways with positive energy, smiles, laughter… and hopefully a paint brush.
PS: Our new location is 53 Unquowa Place (3rd floor), Fairfield, CT. We move on or around May 1st. It’s a beautiful two room loft in the center of town between the Post Rd. and the train station. More announcements coming soon!
No one ever hit me so I didn’t call it bullying when I became a class scumbag. My friends broke up with me, one per day, until there was none left; until the rest of our grade shunned me with stinging insults; until even the nice boys were barking at me in the hallways. Every day I wondered why. I cried tears of frustration because I did not understand. It was impossible to think there was no reason for the onslaught of taunts, the ignoring, the vile comments, the nickname It (as in Ewww, let’s all move our desks so we don’t have to sit next to ‘It’). Surely there was something I did, something I said, something about my face or my figure that led my classmates to despise me so deeply.
Now, not a week goes by without hearing that one of you, my beautiful, talented, bright and brilliant singers, is going through something similar. You want to be home schooled or change schools or simply disappear into words, music, movies, anything at all. Still, you keep singing. You are so much stronger than I was at your age.
Now, my friend, we are in this together. And we deserve answers. So let’s do this.
The act of bullying is about the bully, not the bullied. There is nothing inherent within any one of us that deserves such treatment. Our character is defined by how we behave, not how we are treated. And our worth? Our worthiness of love is a birth right that need not be earned and can not be beaten out of us. And it is certainly not diminished by some kid with a big mouth.
Being bullied gives us the potential to change the world for the better. We will not disappear. We have seen that our light shines against all odds. Our purpose is to be bright and brilliant, even in the darkness of night.
We are the peace makers. The caretakers. We may become coaches, musicians, scientists, counselors, writers, doctors, nurses, teachers, trainers, designers. Leaders. Creators. We are the artists whose work inspires dream chasing and freedom. We are idea people with high ideals. We understand bullies and how deeply they fear us. We know ourselves and the power we hold to inspire others.
The best way to combat someone else’s cruelty is to be a caring and open person instead of closed and afraid. Where love and hope reside, fear has no home. So we shall keep filling our hearts with love for ourselves, our closest companions, secret hiding places and favorite songs. Our words of hope are stronger than theirs of ignorance (and usually have more syllables).
Thank you, my friend, for showing up in this world with kindness, dignity, respect, and love.
Thank you for being a bright light of hope in the night sky. Thank you for staying strong enough to sing.
We are in this together.