Bullied, Bright and Brilliant

No one ever hit me so I didn’t call it bullying when I became a class scumbag.  My friends broke up with me, one per day, until there was none left; until the rest of our grade shunned me with stinging insults; until even the nice boys were barking at me in the hallways.  Every day I wondered why.  I cried tears of frustration because I did not understand.  It was impossible to think there was no reason for the onslaught of taunts, the ignoring, the vile comments, the nickname It (as in Ewww, let’s all move our desks so we don’t have to sit next to ‘It’).  Surely there was something I did, something I said, something about my face or my figure that led my classmates to despise me so deeply.

Now, not a week goes by without hearing that one of you, my beautiful, talented, bright and brilliant singers, is going through something similar.  You want to be home schooled or change schools or simply disappear into words, music, movies, anything at all.   Still, you keep singing.  You are so much stronger than I was at your age.

dragonfly light
Now, my friend, we are in this together.  And we deserve answers.  So let’s do this.

The act of bullying is about the bully, not the bullied.  There is nothing inherent within any one of us that deserves such treatment.  Our character is defined by how we behave, not how we are treated.  And our worth?  Our worthiness of love is a birth right that need not be earned and can not be beaten out of us.  And it is certainly not diminished by some kid with a big mouth.

Being bullied gives us the potential to change the world for the better.  We will not disappear.  We have seen that our light shines against all odds.  Our purpose is to be bright and brilliant, even in the darkness of night.

We are the peace makers.  The caretakers.  We may become coaches, musicians, scientists, counselors, writers, doctors, nurses, teachers, trainers, designers. Leaders. Creators.  We are the artists whose work inspires dream chasing and freedom.  We are idea people with high ideals.  We understand bullies and how deeply they fear us. We know ourselves and the power we hold to inspire others.

The best way to combat someone else’s cruelty is to be a caring and open person instead of closed and afraid.  Where love and hope reside, fear has no home.  So we shall keep filling our hearts with love for ourselves, our closest companions, secret hiding places and favorite songs.  Our words of hope are stronger than theirs of ignorance (and usually have more syllables).

Thank you, my friend, for showing up in this world with kindness, dignity, respect, and love.
Thank you for being a bright light of hope in the night sky.   Thank you for staying strong enough to sing.

We are in this together.

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13 thoughts on “Bullied, Bright and Brilliant

  1. Sarah

    This is wonderful Melissa.Of all of the people that I know who have been bullied, myself included, I truly think that the reason that they were bullied was because of a fear on the part of the person doing the bullying and not anything about them.

    Reply
  2. Paula Bordonaro

    Melissa,
    We are truly blessed that you came into Alex Bordonaro’s life. You have become so much more than his vocal coach. You have become another role model in his life that not only educates but supports and takes care of him as a whole person. You are truly teaching all your musicians how to sweat the small stuff. For example, it is important to pick up donuts for your sick grandmother without anyone asking or taking the time to listen to a younger child next door who really needs a little bit more. I am truly on the same page as you. These are lessons that our children need to have. Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity, respect and love.

    As educators and adults, we need to spend more time on character education and maybe the small stuff will someday become marvels rather than heart aches. Thank you for helping to continue this important work. I have always told my children that character is what needs to define them and the rest well fall in place. I truly hope they will carry this important, life lesson with them always.

    Paula Bordonaro

    Reply
    1. melmmvs Post author

      Paula, I am so moved by this, thank you. It is such a blessing to work with Alex and the other artists at MMVS. It’s a pinch-me-is-this-my-life honor to get to spend time with such kind, generous and bright individuals. And they can sing, like wow, too 🙂 I love your life’s philosophy. You should blog it! 🙂

      Reply
  3. Amy G.

    Melissa- I’m so glad I got to reconnect with you on this crazy Facebook world. Your words are healing. I too am sharing with my babies. Specifically the ten year old who is hitting some bumps in the road. The bumps of life grow us and mold us. How lucky your “kids” are to have you guide them over their bumps. Thank you for bravely sharing.

    Reply
    1. melmmvs Post author

      Amy, your ten year old has a fiercely loving mom who will guide him through this. That’s enough and then some. Give him a hug for me. xxo

      Reply
  4. Pingback: Beautiful Faces. Magical Places. — Hannah Marcotti

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