Tag Archives: love

#SelfLoveSelfie – 30 Days

This is an emergency.

For too many days in a row I have woken up with mean stories repeating in my head.  You know what I mean.  The stories accuse me of not being who I want to be or maybe just saying something stupid the night before.  They convince me that others don’t love me as much as I love them; they make me wonder if I will ever allow myself to be truly happy even though I work my ass off at it, all day, every day.  I work and I strive and I achieve and I dream and I give and I give and I give…

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Then I wake up feeling depleted and like nothing will ever be enough.

Selfies suck.

I am not one of those girls who made the “duck face” on myspace and thought she looked cute.  You won’t find me taking pictures of myself in the bathroom of a club, angled 45 degrees to the side with my hand on one hip.  I have almost no pictures of me as a teenager because I wouldn’t let my parents take them and I destroyed so many that were taken over the years. I am told I have a nice smile but when I turn the camera on now I see how my face crinkles up or the way my teeth seem too big or the fact that my mouth goes crooked… So I make the “Mel Face” (an Elvis sneer, really), call it a #selfie and post it to Instagram.  Really.  Why bother.

When you see me post a picture of myself that is actually nice or calm, where I’m not laughing my ass off or sneering or cropping it so only my eyeball appears, I am practicing.  I am looking at myself, holding my own gaze and waiting.  I wait for the mean stories to unfold.  The criticism and the fear pass through me in a matter of seconds or minutes but it can feel like an eternity.  I walk around the house waiting for the light to hit me the right way.  I smile, it seems forced.  I wait.  I smile a little less, a little more.  I wait.  I laugh.  I think “This is effing ridiculous.”

At some point I see my eyes relax.  My face softens.  I recognize a truth within myself.  I see my spirit start to emerge from behind the cold armor of fear and pain.  I see my heart in my eyes.  And then I take the picture.

I usually don’t post them.  But for 30 days I will.  Mainly because, like so many of us, I struggle with the idea of being seen exactly as I am.

I learned the art of self-love selfies (and self-care in general) from my brilliant friend and coach Hannah Marcotti.  She is always running outstanding online programs and live events.  I know I mention her just about every time I blog.  If you know her you know why.
http://www.hannahmarcotti.com

If you would like to join me, I am on Instagram and Twitter as @melmulligan
I will be using the hashtag #selfloveselfie

Melissa Mulligan is the owner and head of Artist Development at MMVS: Melissa Mulligan Vocal Studio in Connecticut, New York, California and online.  Her studio offers private voice, songwriting, piano, guitar and music lessons, group lessons, workshops and online programs.  For more information visit http://www.mymmvs.com or email mymmvs@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have to tip my hat to my brilliant friends (and coaches) Hannah and Mara, who believe we need self-care Emergency Kits for days, weeks, and lunar cycles like this.

 

 

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And then she said…

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Through Hannah Marcotti’s 2013 Mastermind group I have been gifted a group of friends who text with intention.  I can sit with a cup of coffee, scroll through my phone’s history and shine throughout the day.

She said “I got this note from the universe that seems to be meant for you.”
And then she said “You’re doing it.”

She said “The voice that knew she had to stop breaking her own heart. I’ve been there.”
And then she said “Think of it like an antibiotic for that shitty voice in your head.”

She said “However it happens will be the right way.”
And then she said “I want to say this.  You are pretty and you are beautiful.”

She said “Day 12 you want to tell water to f*(& itself.”
And then she said “I love your morning messages!”

She said “Yes! Eyes in the dark, baby!”
And then she said “Got teary in the best of ways which means to me that this is truth.”

She said “Sending you beams of soft pink light, filled with love.”
Then she said “Asking the angels to wrap you in gentle divine light.”

She said “These are the days for sure!”
And then she said “Thank you, love. A bit of a vulnerability hangover.”

She said “I will keep peace and love in my heart.”
And then she said “Look we have live music! I didn’t even try to find it and voila, there it is!”

She said “Good morning! You are f*&(ing amazing and I love you.”
And then she said “I think there was something extra in my kombucha this morning – I’m almost giddy.”

She said “I have seen your soul and you and she are beautiful, beyond beautiful, radiant with joy and light and here on Earth you are a hot tamale.”
And then she said “Meant to be.”

She said “I choose to play the game of joy, empowerment, ease, fun and love. Shall we?”
And then she said “Good thing you have fabulous boots to ground you.”

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Every Song

Every song is an offering to our awakening, our spirit guides, our home, our angels, each other, our vulnerable hearts, our past iterations, our now.

Every song is a gift, sung to us and through us from our longing, our bodies, our mystical truths, our opening hearts, our inner knowing.

Every song is a prayer, a celebration, a reckoning, a release, a yes.

Every song is SoulPartyShowevery one of us.

We are birds perched in a circle, gathering for this offering.  It is now our moment to arise.

I Want This For You

When you giftare told you are a gift to the world, and you believe it.

I want this for you.

When your eyes take someone’s breath away, and that doesn’t seem strange to you.

I want this for you.

When you see yourself in the mirror and get knocked sideways, just for a second, that you’re here, on Earth, being magical and miraculous.

I want this for you.

When you can sit with your own pain, or the pain of someone you love, and feel your heart expanding into more feeling rather than shrinking, or numbing, or struggling to fix it.

I want this for you.

When your gifts are something you express gratitude for without judgement or comparison or fear of losing humility.

I want this for you.

When the love you feel for your awesomeness matches the awesomeness I see.

I want this for you.

I want this love for you. 

Inspired by my beautiful friends, family, students and guides, as well as a song by my gorgeous friend, Nicole Thompson, which has the refrain “I want this for you.”